Friday, November 21, 2008


ambitious title, eh?

don't worry, i'll cover it it in a paragraph or two, because my kids won't make it much longer than that before they need me in the next room.

being a father is something that was a long slow process for me, and whenever i have to discipline our kids, i get very introspective. parenting dillemas seem to fall into two broad categories: when you know full well the right thing to do and it's unpleasant and you don't want to do it (90%), and when you just really don't know what the best thing is (10%). I think that the second type probably becomes more common as they get older. my oldest is only 8. For us, the most common situations where we don't know what's best involve other people -- close family friends or grandparents, where something is going down that we really don't consider best, but the relationship is important, so what is the lesser of evils. The grandparents don't do everything my way, but when is it a big enough deal that it's worth risking the beautiful relationship they have with their loving grandparents?

Of course, the grandparents would probably be shocked to find out that i have thoughts like that, i'm certain that from there perspective i seem decidedly on the "control freak" end of the spectrum, with ideas about how most everything should be done.

Still, parenting is an awfully serious responsibility. Look at how much of societies ills we lay at the feet of parent-child interactions.

Really, if my daughters end up picking bad apples, shacking up with guys who beat them and abandoning their kids..... who are you going to look at first? If my son were to be that kind of a guy, who would you start asking questions about his relationship with.

And not without reason. Who else has a bigger role to play in what they aspire to, in their baseling understanding of the world, their ideas about what relationships are supposed to look like?

I never expected so many of my musings to revolve around fatherhood. but they do. so i'm certain that will be reflected here.

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